86 - Fish

 I wonder if it really is true that the European Union's final words to the United Kingdom upon the completion of the "Brexit Project" were in fact;

"So long, and thanks for all the fish..."

Or maybe it was something I made up to make some kind of satirical point about the final sticking point being an agreement about fishing right, which the EU managed to squeeze more concessions out of Boris than he wanted, and tying it in with the dolphin's final words to humanity just before the Vogons demolished the Earth to make way for a hyperspace by-pass.

Or maybe the joke isn't funny if I have to spend a whole paragraph, comprised of just one long winded sentence that franky needed a lot of editing (but, oh, what's the point), explaining the thing. 

Either way, Brexit is now finalised. The UK is swooshing down the creek. The paddle is left in the boot of the car. And we've still awaiting Boris' announcement that the NHS will get the extra £350 million a week in the NHS budget.

After all, apparently all the promises of the 2016 referendum, and the Tories' 2019 election manifesto, are fulfilled in the UK's deal with the EU... well, that's what the official announcement of the deal claimed.  

Unless, like so many other things in the whole Brexit malarkey, it was another pack of lies.

Oh, well...

59 - Today

Given what is about to happen in less than thirty minutes, I think there is only one thing to say. Those of you who know will get the context...

So long, and thanks for all the fish...

56 - Songs

I think of all the things that summarise the Remain vs Leave debate in regards to the most horrible of words, Brexit, is the battle that is currently being fought. 

This Friday, January 31st, is Brexit day, and since the changes to the singles charts were made a few years back, it's also the day the new singles chart is announced. Who will be number one?

(As a quick divergence; I really cannot get used to this malarkey where the charts are announced on a Friday, when it should be between 4-7pm on a Sunday, nor the release of new music on a Friday. But that's a post for another time.)

This week there is a battle. Two rival campaigns are bying for the number one spot. 

In the red corner are those who wish to remain in the EU; they are championing a particular version of Beethoven's Ode to Joy, from his 9th Symphony, which also happens to be the EU anthem. It's a stirring piece of music that brings out emotion in the listener, it's a piece of music that has stood the test of time in the (almost) 200 years since it was composed. It's just glorious. 

In the brown corner is a song written and "sung" by a chap called Dominc Frisby entitled "17 Million F**k-Offs", the title of which refers to the (approximate) number of votes cast for leaving the EU in the referendum. And, frankly, it's a dirge. Badly written, badly sung, and frankly an insult to pretty much anyone that's not a rabid Nigel Farage loving Brextremist. 

I know you'll probably say that I would say that as I'm a "Remoaner" and all that sort of piffle, but the fact is that it is just a dirge. Were it a decent song, with stirring lyrics (rather than a succession of various "f**k offs" to various people) I would have acknowledged its craftsmanship, but still have disagreed with the sentiment of the song. That's not impossible. 

It's very rare you can make a statement that "Song A" is better than "Song B" on a truly objective basis, but I think this is a very rare occasion when this is possible. 

When I first heard of this battle, I headed to iTunes to download Ode to Joy and was quite pleased to see that in their chart it's currently number one, with the other "song" at number 2. Hopefully that will be the case when the full chart, compiled from its various sources, is announced one Friday. 

As Number 2 is an entirely appropriate place for that pile of sh.........

40 - Power

The aim of a political party is to win power, to win enough seats in a General Election to have an overall majority and be able to form a government. This is the only way it gets to enact its policies and to carry out actions that it believes will make the country a better place. 

If you are in opposition, without the seats to be able to block votes, you're not able to do a thing. 

To do win an election, a political party has to be able to read the mood of the nation and ensure that its policies are relevant, and likely to command support. It also needs to recognise that in this day and age many people only have an overview of what a political party believes; the headlines, the soundbites. So it is important to ensure that a party's message can be delivered swiftly, concisely, and clearly. 

In the last election, the Tories got this aspect spot on. The main slogan they had through the election was the very simple "Get Brexit done". That's what people heard, and that's what many people voted for. It was clear, and concise. 

Other parties were also clear. You knew that if you were voting for the Lib Dems you were voting to revoke article 50 and remain in the EU. In the event that Swinson were to have got a majority that's what would have happened. 

Labour were far less clear; there seemed to be all sorts of flip flopping, and eventually the message was that in the event of a Labour majority Corbyn would negotiate a better deal with the EU for Brexit, and then put it to a referendum, at which time he'd remain neutral and act as a facilitator for the debate. 

Whilst I think this was actually a sensible position, the problem was that it was not in place right at the start of the campaign, and it almost appeared that it was being improvised as time passed, which caused confusion among the public. 

Furthermore, the Labour manifesto contained too many promises for "free" things, which many did not think could be delivered over the course of a parliament. (This is even ignoring the stat I heard during the election that it's usual for only 1/4 to a 1/3 of any manifesto actually becomes law). It would have been much better to have prioritised which aspects of the manifesto were most important, and focus on those over the course of the next parliament Then once delivered, and shown to work, move on to the next set. 

One thing I very much liked that used to happen in the past is the pledge card; a card - debit card sized - highlighting the six main issues in bullet points. Clear. Concise. That way everyone knows exactly what the priorities are. 

I've also seen debates about ensuring the Labour party is ideologically pure, and not compromising; but I ask this question... Is it better to be ideologically pure in opposition, or to make small compromises and be elected to power?

I know what my answer would be...

29 - N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nineteen

I have been somewhat remiss in writing new content for this blog, but I hope this will change and it will become rather more active. I realise I may have said something similar before, and it's not happened. But this time it'll be different. Promise. 

I may have said that before, also...

...anyhow, on with the show;

I did think of doing something radical in this first post of 2020, but what the heck, let's do a boring, traditional, look back at the previous year. 

So, 2019, what a shitstorm of a year that was. The biggest thing politically remained that most divisive of subjects; Brexit. After having been postponed twice, from the end of March to the end of October (Halloween... how very appropriate) to the end of January it looked like there might be a chance to get it stopped with the December general election.

Hmm...

That was a bit of a balls up, wasn't it? 

Before going on I guess I should return to a couple of things I've said before;

Firstly I've often quoted something Nigel Farage said when he thought he was going to lose the referendum; "In a 52-48 referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way." A stopped clock is right twice a day, and this was a rare occasion where Farage was right. That he backtracked on this comment when this result meant he won was neither here nor there. 

Secondly, I've mentioned that the 2016 referendum was a referendum on a theoretical version of Brexit. Over the time since then exactly what it will mean has been refined, and there is a deal in place. Shit deal, but it's there, and gives more clarity to things. Arguably, the December 2019 election, with Mr Johnson's key slogan, "Get Brexit Done", acted as a de-facto second referendum.

Mr Johnson's clear victory ends the parliamentary deadlock there has been since Mrs May's 2017 election. It puts in place enough MPs to vote for anything of a Brexit flavour Mr Johnson wishes to put through. There can be no more delays, we leave at the end of January. 

So, with no other route I can see to stop the folly that is Brexit, it is time to admit defeat. Well done, Brexiteers, you've finally (and this time, decisively), won. 

All you have to do now is prove me, and and everyone else like me, wrong. Make a success of Brexit. Ensure the United Kingdom thrives outside of the European Union. In a couple of years time I genuinely want to be able to say "I was wrong" as we go from strength to strength as a country. But it's on you Brexiteers to sort this, and ensure prosperity. I've no idea as to how this could happen, but I guess you must have a plan, and will carry it out. 

In the words of Ru-Paul; don't fuck it up. 

Speaking of whom; I did find myself very much enjoying the first season of the UK version of Ru-Paul's Drag Race. I'd seen bits of the US version before, but it never gelled with me, but there was something about this version that just seemed right. Maybe it was the familiar faces on the judging panel, or the queens themselves, but it was just great fun. Even though Baga Chipz was robbed. She was my favourite throughout, and I had her down as the winner. 

(Incidentally; was I the only one to think Davina Di Campio bore an uncanny resemblance to Alexander from Russell T Davies' breakthrough show, Queer as Folk?)

And of course (I'm digging these segues...) Russell was back this year with his scarily relevant drama Years and Years, which showed the world over the next 15 years descending in to a dystopian society. The thing is, though, it was all too believable. Looking at the world as it is now, most of what happens you can extrapolate from current events. Vivienne Rook is the logical step of populist, soundbite, politics. (See Mr Johnson's "Get Brexit Done" - how many other Tory policies from the election can you recall.) 

This was a family drama as an analogy for the world at large. Yes, the family ticked pretty much every diversity box, but that was the whole point of the thing. They were the springboard for each of the various plot strands, and it was a compact way of doing so without having to have ever straining ways to get the strands together. 

To my mind, there was one key moment of the series, which was when the matriarch of the family delivered her blistering speech where she blamed the family - and by extension the whole world - as being responsible for how things turned out. "This is the world we built." she concludes, and she was entirely correct. All too often we think we are just one person and as such are unable to make a difference. But all change starts with a single person, and you never can tell who that person will be. It could be you. Yes, you, reading this now. You might be the next person who could make a real change. You think you can't? Well, you've lost already. I mean, what chance an person could change the world... I mean, someone ordinary, could never do that...

...meanwhile, in Sweden, a 15 year old schoolgirl goes on strike from attending school. On her own. That could never grow in to something big, could it?

Greta Thunberg's rise to prominence over the last year has been blistering. She has probably raised more awareness of the climate emergency facing our planet than any other individual. Two years ago, you'd never heard of her. Her speech to Davos was one of the moments of the year, and gave hope that maybe this time there is a chance that things will be done to help reduce some of the damage we're doing to the planet. 

I say "this time" as I remember similar things being said about saving the planet when I was at school in the 80s - then the destruction of the ozone layer, and the overuse of CFCs would end up cooking the earth up due to the greenhouse effect. There was a sense of urgency then, too; it's still ongoing. 

Her speech ended with;

"Adults keep saying: “We owe it to the young people to give them hope.” But I don’t want your hope. I don’t want you to be hopeful. I want you to panic. I want you to feel the fear I feel every day. And then I want you to act.

I want you to act as you would in a crisis. I want you to act as if our house is on fire. Because it is."

Over the year we've seen protests about the climate emergency on a scale not seen before - the Extinction Rebellion action around Easter closing down roads in London for days on end was unprecedented. And I get the feeling it's only the beginning, and there will be much more in 2020, and on a bigger scale. 

And it is people like Greta who give me hope. Hope that there is a chance that the world won't end up like the one predicted in Years and Years. The word we build over the coming years is up to us. Every single one of us. We will all have our part to play, and all we can do is our best. 

Good luck, everyone.

28 - Brextreme.

Well, this Brexit malarkey is leaving us all in a right pickle, isn't it? Is there really anyone, on either side of the debate, that can genuinely say they are happy how things have turned out? I'd say probably very few indeed.

I'll be honest; back on referendum day I voted to remain, and I still think that's what we should do. But in the lead up to the referendum I actually paid much more attention to what the leave campaign said than the remain campaign. This was for the primary reason that I believe in a referendum whereby the choice is between "keeping things as they are" or "changing things" the onus is on the latter to prove their case. 

I put aside personalities, and focused on the issues, and the arguments for leaving. I listened, I read, I paid attention. I heard so many arguments. I was open to being convinced. And, despite all that, they never did convince me. 

Looking back at the hoo-ha of the last 33 months, it seems to me there were four potential outcomes by the end of the process. And, as close as we may be to the end, we're not quite there. 

As surely the whole point of a decision like this is to ensure the country is in the best possible position it could be, I'll rank them in order of how good they are for the country... 

...bearing in mind what I said above, Number 1 may surprise you...

1 - A Brexit deal that leaves us better off than we are. 

Yes. You read that right. Me, a Remoaner, saying this is the best possible outcome? Well, yes, clearly it would be. Had the Government managed to somehow negotiate a deal that leaves the country in a position whereby it would be better to leave Europe than remain in Europe this has to be the best possible outcome. That is entirely logical. Had the government managed to get us such a deal, I would willingly have conceded that I was wrong. The country would be in a stronger position. But, sadly, no such deal has been made. 

2 - Remaining in the EU.

In other words; just staying as we are. We would be neither better off, nor worse off, than we currently are. 

3 - a bad deal.

In other words, a deal that would leave us worse off than we currently are. This is, sadly, exactly what Theresa May's deal is. It would leave us locked in to many aspects of the EU, but as we would not be members of the EU we would get no say in to what happens when rules change. The EU would say to us "jump" and we would say "how high?". Pointless. The EU has also made it clear that this is the only deal on the table. Therefore, the deal at #1 is impossible. 

4 - no deal. 

Crashing out of the EU with no deal would be a complete disaster. Anyone that thinks it would be a good idea must have rocks in their heads. I've no desire to go in the the full whys and wherefores; there are plenty of articles out there on the web. Read them.

Conclusion.

Given the absence of a deal as described in #1, it is clear that the best option for the country is to just scrap the whole Brexit malarkey, and remain in the EU. It is the only option currently available to us that would mean that the country is not worse off than we are now. 

15 - 2016.

I guess I should do some kind of an end of the year post for this blog. I think it's traditional. I should warn you, though, that this post will meander through a myriad of different topics... you might suggest that it digresses...

One of the striking things about this year is what seems like an inordinate number of celebrity deaths. And before anyone complains that I've missed someone out, well... this isn't comprehensive, it's what springs to mind.

In recent days we've had George Michael and Rick Parfitt, and Carrie Fisher coming so very close to death. But before there was the massive shock of David Bowie's death early on in the year... it seemed he was one of those people who would last forever, or at least be one of those old rockers going on in to their 90s still making music.

And watching Die Hard this Christmas – and yes, it IS a Christmas film – was tinged with an extra layer of sadness knowing that Alan Rickman had died earlier in the year. He was one of those actors that was always absolutely spellbinding in every single thing he was in, captivating the screen.

I could go on and list a whole load of other names – Prince, Harper Lee, Ronnie Corbett, Victoria Wood, Paul Daniels, Caroline Aherne, oh... Willy Wonka himself; Gene Wilder, oh so many more – but I think the point has been made. I'm just so very glad the greatest living Englishman, Tom Baker, and the greatest living Englishwoman, Dame Diana Rigg, have made it through the year...

Actually, coming to think of it; why on Earth isn't it yet Sir Tom Baker? I mean, come on... he deserves one. He was at the heart of so many of our childhoods... how many of us would have just loved it if his Doctor landed outside our houses and took us on a journey in the Tardis?

Because if we had a Tardis we could go back and sort some of the wrongs of 2016...

…in this country the biggest wrong was the outcome of the referendum on membership of the EU. The Brexit campaign was built on lies, and promises that could not be fulfilled. The whole £350 million a week to the EU was a lie (the net amount is actually something like half of that), as were the promises that this phantom £350 million would instead be spent on the NHS. It was there, in big letters, on the battle bus.

On top of that the promises that any investments, or subsidies, and so on that came from the EU would be maintained. All lies. And the back peddling started on the day of the result... mainly because no bugger on the leave campaign actually thought they would win. They thought the best case scenario was a close result which they could use to leverage a better deal on EU membership.

It soon became obvious that the Brexiters had no plan, and this is something that continues to this day. As noted, the promises made in the campaign were soon broken. The lies unravelled, and the lead architects of the official leave campaign – the likes of Boris and Gove – panicked.

Cameron's resignation was entirely expected given the result, and he actually deserves respect for making it swiftly, and without hesitation. It was the only thing he could do. But the farce of a leadership election that followed was depressing to say the least, with May ending up as leader unopposed once the only one left on ballot with her withdrew. Boris' dreams of being PM seem to be in tatters now; and to be honest, of all the potential Tory leaders, he was the one I feared the most. May will cock things up completely before too long. She's already heading for the iceberg...

(Actually, a small digression; in all the post-Brexit hoo-ha, the politician that's impressed me the most has been Ken Clarke; but only for his anti-Brexit stance. And I say that as someone who is very much a Labour supporter. I can't help but wonder why, in the post-Major and pre-Cameron era of no-hoper Tory leaders, why did they never elect him as their leader? He'd have been about the only one of that era that could have been an effective opposition to Tony at that time. Probably for the best that he was never elected leader...!)

If the Tory leadership was a farce... well, the Labour leadership challenge was... oh, I don't know what it was. From the start there was only ever going to be one outcome. There was no way Jezza was going to lose. Never gonna happen. The two potential candidates were no-hopers who never stood a chance of winning. None of the big hitters in the party threw their name in the hat as they were more than aware of this. In the end, the only thing it did was to ensure that Jezza's margin of victory was even bigger the second time than the first...

This side of the pond, politically, was insane... the other side of the pond... I can hardly even contemplate the thought that in a few days from now Donald Trump will be taking over from Obama. Words. Fail. Me.

Still, 2016 hasn't been all bad. Besides, as the good Doctor Kermode has noted more than once; it'll be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end.

There's been a load of great movies this year, and great TV show. Negan's given The Walking Dead a kick up the arse, and is superbly played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Meanwhile, the comic has been going from strength to strength with many surprises in the Whisperer storyline... I have a feeling the first issues of 2017 will be incredibly emotional...

I don't know if it counts as a 2016 movie or not – I mean, it's eligible for the Oscars next year, so I'm counting it – but my favourite film of the year has been The Lobster. It's a most odd film whereby if a person is single they get sent to a hotel and they have to find a partner within a certain amount of time, or they get turned in to an animal. The lead character in the film, played superbly by Colin Farrell, chooses to be a lobster should he fail to find a partner.

This movie really moved me; maybe it was because I first saw in on Valentine's day, on my own... single. It had a feeling to it that seemed to me to be a bit like a cross between Kubrick and Lynch without actually being anything like either. The performances from all concerned were great, too. And I know some have a problem with the second half of the film, but that never bothered me at all. And that ending... just wonderful. It is a film that makes you think, and as long as you go with the central premise of the film, it will have an impact on you.

Moving on to more personal things, yet again I'm ending a year single. I'm just glad I don't have to choose an animal to turn in to. But, as you asked; wombat. I guess one of my main problems is that I suck at dating, so that on the rare occasions when I do actually get a date I'll invariably muck it up. Or my geeky, and slightly awkward, personality puts my dates off. I've joked in the past about going on TV shows... but...

...I mean, it ain't gonna happen. There's really just the two main shows. Take Me Out is just a great show to watch, but it's not for me. I mean, I fear that if I were to go on the show I'd probably end up having all 30 girls turn off their lights and end up giving me a blackout. And I'll never end up even close to getting to the island of Fernando's... wherever that might be! And, on another note... just take a look at the ages of most of the girls on that show (hint; Wikipedia), and compare and contrast with my age. 43. So many of them, oh... so many of them, are young enough to be my daughter. That's just a little creepy, yes? It's a show that's great fun for me to watch, but not for me to be on...

There's also First Dates... which for a chap of my age is rather more suitable in that were I to apply and be accepted, I would at least be guaranteed a date, and with someone that's been matched to me and of an appropriate age. But, again, it's not going to happen. It's bad enough sucking at dating and then getting the “no more dates” text the next day, but doing it on TV... there have been so many times when watching the show I've cringed at the end of a date when they sit next to each other and are asked if they're going to have a second date and one's clearly wanting to, and the other isn't... and when one says “no”, you can see the other's spirit being crushed in their eyes... and I don't want that.

I mean, there's a chance that I might meet someone on the show that is right for me, but frankly the chances are miniscule. And as I've said in a previous post on this blog I tend to take a long time to decide if someone's right for me or not, and that's a longer time than a single date; there's times when I've known for sure that someone's not right, but on other times I've not been certain but I've known I'd wanted to have gone on more dates to get to know them a lot better. Maybe I'm out of step with how things are done these days... and maybe that means I'll end up single forever.

But I hope not. Maybe 2017 will be the year that everything changes.

I can but hope.

So, as this year draws to an end, and the new one starts... I'll just raise a glass to you all, and hope you have a wonderful 2017...

6 - Brexit

So, this Brexit vote today... there seems to be a lot of gnashing of teeth that this means Brexit is now off. Er... no. It's not off. What it means is that the nature of Brexit can now be fully debated in Parliament to ensure that it is conducted in the best possible way (or perhaps alternatively; the least worst way).

Hopefully, it will also mean that the means can be put in place to ensure that the promises made by the leave campaign prior to the referendum can be put in place; for example, I trust Theresa May and her Chancellor will find a way to ensure that the £350 million a week we pay to the EU goes instead to the NHS.

This ruling will enable Parliament to scrutinise such things to make sure they happen, and that guarantees are in place prior to Article 50 being invoked.

So, Brexit is not off. It's just been made more accountable, and more likely to be done in a way that makes it better for the country.

Of course, there is a possibility that Parliament might vote to veto the referendum result. But I can't see that happening.

Unfortunately.