16 - Wanting.

There was a tv show, or it may have been a film; either way, it doesn't matter. In that show, or film, one of the characters said something about the things you want. It went – and I may very well be paraphrasing – something like this; once you have decided what you want, make sure that every decision you make is in pursuit of it.

I think that may be one of the ways I've been going wrong. I know many of the things I want, but I've not really been pursuing them. I've been hoping they'll fall in to my lap. Mainly on the basis that in the past this has occasionally happened. But often, it hasn't.

And there's all sorts of areas in my life this is applicable to. I keep on putting barriers in my way to achieving things. Building up things that are probably minor reasons that can be overcome, in to huge massive problems. The cliched mountain/molehill situation, I guess.

So... I suppose I should start making some decisions...

...watch this space. 

15 - 2016.

I guess I should do some kind of an end of the year post for this blog. I think it's traditional. I should warn you, though, that this post will meander through a myriad of different topics... you might suggest that it digresses...

One of the striking things about this year is what seems like an inordinate number of celebrity deaths. And before anyone complains that I've missed someone out, well... this isn't comprehensive, it's what springs to mind.

In recent days we've had George Michael and Rick Parfitt, and Carrie Fisher coming so very close to death. But before there was the massive shock of David Bowie's death early on in the year... it seemed he was one of those people who would last forever, or at least be one of those old rockers going on in to their 90s still making music.

And watching Die Hard this Christmas – and yes, it IS a Christmas film – was tinged with an extra layer of sadness knowing that Alan Rickman had died earlier in the year. He was one of those actors that was always absolutely spellbinding in every single thing he was in, captivating the screen.

I could go on and list a whole load of other names – Prince, Harper Lee, Ronnie Corbett, Victoria Wood, Paul Daniels, Caroline Aherne, oh... Willy Wonka himself; Gene Wilder, oh so many more – but I think the point has been made. I'm just so very glad the greatest living Englishman, Tom Baker, and the greatest living Englishwoman, Dame Diana Rigg, have made it through the year...

Actually, coming to think of it; why on Earth isn't it yet Sir Tom Baker? I mean, come on... he deserves one. He was at the heart of so many of our childhoods... how many of us would have just loved it if his Doctor landed outside our houses and took us on a journey in the Tardis?

Because if we had a Tardis we could go back and sort some of the wrongs of 2016...

…in this country the biggest wrong was the outcome of the referendum on membership of the EU. The Brexit campaign was built on lies, and promises that could not be fulfilled. The whole £350 million a week to the EU was a lie (the net amount is actually something like half of that), as were the promises that this phantom £350 million would instead be spent on the NHS. It was there, in big letters, on the battle bus.

On top of that the promises that any investments, or subsidies, and so on that came from the EU would be maintained. All lies. And the back peddling started on the day of the result... mainly because no bugger on the leave campaign actually thought they would win. They thought the best case scenario was a close result which they could use to leverage a better deal on EU membership.

It soon became obvious that the Brexiters had no plan, and this is something that continues to this day. As noted, the promises made in the campaign were soon broken. The lies unravelled, and the lead architects of the official leave campaign – the likes of Boris and Gove – panicked.

Cameron's resignation was entirely expected given the result, and he actually deserves respect for making it swiftly, and without hesitation. It was the only thing he could do. But the farce of a leadership election that followed was depressing to say the least, with May ending up as leader unopposed once the only one left on ballot with her withdrew. Boris' dreams of being PM seem to be in tatters now; and to be honest, of all the potential Tory leaders, he was the one I feared the most. May will cock things up completely before too long. She's already heading for the iceberg...

(Actually, a small digression; in all the post-Brexit hoo-ha, the politician that's impressed me the most has been Ken Clarke; but only for his anti-Brexit stance. And I say that as someone who is very much a Labour supporter. I can't help but wonder why, in the post-Major and pre-Cameron era of no-hoper Tory leaders, why did they never elect him as their leader? He'd have been about the only one of that era that could have been an effective opposition to Tony at that time. Probably for the best that he was never elected leader...!)

If the Tory leadership was a farce... well, the Labour leadership challenge was... oh, I don't know what it was. From the start there was only ever going to be one outcome. There was no way Jezza was going to lose. Never gonna happen. The two potential candidates were no-hopers who never stood a chance of winning. None of the big hitters in the party threw their name in the hat as they were more than aware of this. In the end, the only thing it did was to ensure that Jezza's margin of victory was even bigger the second time than the first...

This side of the pond, politically, was insane... the other side of the pond... I can hardly even contemplate the thought that in a few days from now Donald Trump will be taking over from Obama. Words. Fail. Me.

Still, 2016 hasn't been all bad. Besides, as the good Doctor Kermode has noted more than once; it'll be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end.

There's been a load of great movies this year, and great TV show. Negan's given The Walking Dead a kick up the arse, and is superbly played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Meanwhile, the comic has been going from strength to strength with many surprises in the Whisperer storyline... I have a feeling the first issues of 2017 will be incredibly emotional...

I don't know if it counts as a 2016 movie or not – I mean, it's eligible for the Oscars next year, so I'm counting it – but my favourite film of the year has been The Lobster. It's a most odd film whereby if a person is single they get sent to a hotel and they have to find a partner within a certain amount of time, or they get turned in to an animal. The lead character in the film, played superbly by Colin Farrell, chooses to be a lobster should he fail to find a partner.

This movie really moved me; maybe it was because I first saw in on Valentine's day, on my own... single. It had a feeling to it that seemed to me to be a bit like a cross between Kubrick and Lynch without actually being anything like either. The performances from all concerned were great, too. And I know some have a problem with the second half of the film, but that never bothered me at all. And that ending... just wonderful. It is a film that makes you think, and as long as you go with the central premise of the film, it will have an impact on you.

Moving on to more personal things, yet again I'm ending a year single. I'm just glad I don't have to choose an animal to turn in to. But, as you asked; wombat. I guess one of my main problems is that I suck at dating, so that on the rare occasions when I do actually get a date I'll invariably muck it up. Or my geeky, and slightly awkward, personality puts my dates off. I've joked in the past about going on TV shows... but...

...I mean, it ain't gonna happen. There's really just the two main shows. Take Me Out is just a great show to watch, but it's not for me. I mean, I fear that if I were to go on the show I'd probably end up having all 30 girls turn off their lights and end up giving me a blackout. And I'll never end up even close to getting to the island of Fernando's... wherever that might be! And, on another note... just take a look at the ages of most of the girls on that show (hint; Wikipedia), and compare and contrast with my age. 43. So many of them, oh... so many of them, are young enough to be my daughter. That's just a little creepy, yes? It's a show that's great fun for me to watch, but not for me to be on...

There's also First Dates... which for a chap of my age is rather more suitable in that were I to apply and be accepted, I would at least be guaranteed a date, and with someone that's been matched to me and of an appropriate age. But, again, it's not going to happen. It's bad enough sucking at dating and then getting the “no more dates” text the next day, but doing it on TV... there have been so many times when watching the show I've cringed at the end of a date when they sit next to each other and are asked if they're going to have a second date and one's clearly wanting to, and the other isn't... and when one says “no”, you can see the other's spirit being crushed in their eyes... and I don't want that.

I mean, there's a chance that I might meet someone on the show that is right for me, but frankly the chances are miniscule. And as I've said in a previous post on this blog I tend to take a long time to decide if someone's right for me or not, and that's a longer time than a single date; there's times when I've known for sure that someone's not right, but on other times I've not been certain but I've known I'd wanted to have gone on more dates to get to know them a lot better. Maybe I'm out of step with how things are done these days... and maybe that means I'll end up single forever.

But I hope not. Maybe 2017 will be the year that everything changes.

I can but hope.

So, as this year draws to an end, and the new one starts... I'll just raise a glass to you all, and hope you have a wonderful 2017...

14 - Illogical.

Sometimes video games frustrate me. At the moment the one causing me the most frustration is Rise of the Tomb Raider.

I'm not far in to the game, but am already getting frustrated. There's a bit where you have to either sneak past seven or eight gun toting soldiers. Or you can use your bow and arrow to shoot them in the head, one by one, hoping that the others won't see you.

Now, when you kill these soldiers you can loot their dead corpses. And you basically pick up tat from them. That's it. They're carrying machine guns, so you think you might get a Bruce Willis in Die Hard “Now I have a machine gun, ho-ho-ho” moment... but no. The game just won't let you pick up a single one of these machine guns.

This makes no sense. This is not an old, simple, ZX Spectrum game; it's a PS4 game where you can interact in many ways with the environment and objects within it. But you can't pick up your enemy's gun...

But this is nothing compared to the ludicrous leap of illogicality that comes just after this.

You see, there's a cave. And in this cave is a bear. And behind this bear in the cave is a wall. And this wall has loose bricks, and you have to hit it with your pickaxe a few times to get a hole big enough for you to get through, but small enough that the bear cannot.

At this point you start to think that if you'd been able to get machine guns, and ammo, from these soldiers that you could just spray the bear with bullets. But I've talked about this already.

You have to stun the bear with poison arrows. The game suggests drawing the bear out of the cave to stun it, as it gives you more room to manoeuvre. So, you draw the bear out of the cave, stun it, go back in to the cave, and hit the wall with your pickaxe. But before there's time to hit it again, the bear is back behind you, so you have to draw it out. And then stun, and then hit the wall, and then... you get the picture.

And it's a pain.

You basically have time to hit the wall once before the bear is behind you again. So, I thought I'd try something a bit different.

I lured the bear out of the cave, stunned it, and ran back in to the cave. Rather than immediately hit the wall, I turned to see the bear enter the cave and immediately stunned it. I figured that might give me enough time to get a couple of hits, then I'd turn around, stun again, and repeat...

Great idea, I thought...

But, no... I stunned the bear, turned around, and the game would not let me hit the wall. It put up the little icon it always does if you try to do something impossible. But it wasn't something impossible. I was hitting the wall in the same way as I'd always done.

The only difference was that this time, the bear was in the cave.

A bit of experimentation and it became clear that the mere presence of the bear in the cave meant that the game just wouldn't let you hit the wall. The bear's outside the cave, and all is fine. Bear in the cave, and suddenly the wall is impervious to all attack. It becomes the Captain Scarlet and Captain Jack of all walls rolled in to one.

This makes even less sense... a wall whose physical properties change according to the presence, or otherwise, of a bear.

I'm at something like 10% in to the game. I wonder what other stupidity awaits me...

13 - Legendary.

Some time, in another life (brother), I wrote a blog post about the finale of How I Met Your Mother. I'll present it here, unedited and unaltered;

---*---

I've probably seen the How I Met Your Mother finale at least one time too many now (any wag that says "oh, you've seen it just the once, then" gets a slap!), and kinda want to get down some thoughts on it...

...but before I do please beware that if you have not yet seen it and are planning to do so, please stop reading. Here be spoilers that will tell you how it all ends...

There has been an element of controversy over the nature of the ending, in particular the very last moments of the episode with the kids...

The thing is, though, the ending they worked towards is one they've been heading to from the start. The kids' bit in the finale was actually filmed during the second season, which is why that scene looks a bit disjointed as Ted's bits were filmed 7 years later...

So, all along the mother was destined to die, and Ted was always going to end up with Robin. I have seen much criticism over this, who think that Ted and the mother should have ended up together, and there are edits of the finale on YouTube, and various suggestions that have the mother living on until 2030, and popping up in the final scene.

But that was never the plan.

My main issue with the finale is not with the actual story beats - the mother's death, and Ted ending up with Robin - but rather how they were realised on screen. As we're getting close to the end, we get Ted's final speech in which he's so eloquent about his love for the mother, and how sad he was when she died, and then... ah, we get the scene at the train station where they finally meet, a moment that's had so much build up and anticipation.

And it's wonderful. A beautifully written and acted scene that was just about perfect; as Ted and Tracey talked you really felt them making a connection, and it was worth the build up. It felt so very right. Oh, the smile on my face, yet still with tears coming from my eyes, when Ted said "And that, kids, is how i met your mother"... just brilliant.

But what came next was misjudged. For Ted six years had passed since Tracey died; but for us, the viewers, moments ago we'd just had Ted talking about her death, then we see him meeting her... and all of a sudden it's all about Aunt Robin, and she's all the kids are talking about.

As a viewing experience it was just too sudden, and too jarring. It's entirely right that Ted got a happy ending with Robin, heck six years had passed so he deserved happiness, and he has to move on and think about the future for both him and his kids. He couldn't just mope forever, as he'd end up going crazy.

But I'd have liked a bit more in there. They filmed something of Tracey's funeral for the episode, but cut it out. There just should have been more in there, maybe showing Ted grieving and coming to terms with Tracey's death, just something more in there so that Ted rushing to Robin's apartment with the blue horn didn't seem so rushed and sudden, from the viewers' perspective.

'Cos that very last moment with Robin and Ted was actually quite wonderful and heartwarming. You just know everything will turn out well for the two of them...

---*---

And, you know, I still stand by this post. It was always how it was meant to end, and it was what the show had been building to. The DVDs have an alternate ending to the series, in which Ted's last monologue plays over a different set of clips, Tracey is still alive, and the episode ends on the scene at the train station.

It just doesn't work. That's the safe ending. And it goes against all the build up.

'Cos right from episode one, with hindsight, it's plain that Ted and Robin were always destined to be together in the end, and that Ted's stories to his kids were really about her, and not just about their mum; as massively important as she was. It was about him having got to the stage where he was ready to move on, and to get on with his life. Only he didn't know how to say this to his kids.

Sometimes when you talk about one thing you're really talking about something else.