20 - Tea

There's a thing about Star Trek; The Next Generation that, for some reason, really bugs me. And it's something really trivial. 

It's to do with Jean Luc Picard. 

No, it's not about how a Frenchman has a perfect English accent. It's way more trivial than that.

Whenever Jean Luc orders his favourite drink from the replicator, he says;

"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot"

Just let that sink in. Think about the thing you've never noticed. The thing that, really, seems completely illogical...

Okay.

First he says "Tea." Fine. Yes, he doesn't want coffee, whiskey, or that drink Data once described as "green". 

Second he says "Earl Grey." Again, yes; otherwise he might have got English Breakfast, Darjeeling, or maybe a nice peppermint tea. 

Then he says "Hot." 

And therein lies the problem.

The default way for tea to be served is "Hot." If I were to go in to a tea shop, and want a pot of tea with my cake, I would not expect to have to tell the person taking my order that I wanted it hot. That would be expected. 

So, why do the replicators on the Enterprise, the flagship of the fleet, need to be reminded every blimmin' time to serve a drink exactly how it is meant to be served? What nincompoop didn't think to set "hot" as the default, and only require a modifier should some poltroon decide they want cold tea? Think of all the times Jean Luc has had to waste time saying a redundant "hot". Think of all the times all the Starfleet officers have wasted time saying a redundant hot!

Think of the time it's taken me to write this post about the word "hot". How I could have been spending it writing a section of a great work of fiction. Or maybe writing a piece of biting social criticism. I could have written a piece of such political bite it could have forced the Prime Minister to resign. (Don't you think she looks tired?)

But no. I write about how Jean Luc Picard ordered his tea in a TV show that ended over 20 years ago.

This, dear reader, is my life in a capsule.